LeighMo's bit of heaven (or hell)

in terms of the job searching. I've applied for no less than five positions (of graphic and web designing nature) tonight; tomorrow I shall apply to be a Moderately Cognitively Impaired aide, an attendant at an animal shelter, and a receptionist/web content updater. I've decided it is a waste of my time to keep putting in applications around the greater BR area. None of them are hiring, and the one place that does ever hire web designers generally hires friends of current employees (after advertising for the position, of course.)

I have been thinking for awhile now that I am not in the right place. Haven't been in ages, if ever. Just doesn't feel right, you know? It isn't as bad as when I was living in the glorified hunting blind up in LeRoy, but still....things don't seem to mesh well here. Day to day existence is hard enough to achieve, let alone putting away for a future or extracurricular activities. I'm tired of living this life, of imaging my kids doing the same thing in 15 to 20 years.

I've mentioned moving downstate to a few people, and pretty much get met with the same response...."but you can't do that! You won't know anybody!" Its funny....that was the same thing I heard when I'd planned to go to Eastern, from pretty much the same people; I've let other people's doubts about myself become mine for almost my entire life. I don't doubt myself much anymore.

Of course, there are the kidlets to take into account. And, betwixt you and me, I honestly am considering letting them stay with their father for this upcoming school year. While I transplant myself and see what transpires with that. I would have visitation, of course, and keep the joint legal/physical custody as it is, but imagine if at the end of next school year I could move them somewhere where we are comfortable, and not scraping by, with culture and things to see! I teach by example not to be afraid to go to unchartered territory, to blaze new trails so when they grow up and it is time for them to find their own paths, they are prepared to do so.

Still in the pondering stages right now; obviously I am not going to move to GR or Ann Arbor without having myself a job there. But if I land one, and still haven't had so much as an interview here.......

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On a more not cheery note, I have not heard from Mr. Inc in over a week. This in itself is not unusual; he's busy and I'm busy and we're both cool with that. The unsettling part is that last weekend was his monthly Army drill weekend. On Wed. he sent me an email saying he was still on duty (weird, because it was only weekend time--he should have been released last Sunday). That is the last i have heard from him, which tells me he is still not back in town (he calls when he's home, usually, so we can catch up or have dinner or something). He hasn't answered an email, which is strange, because he usually sneaks in an email here or there. Considering that he reported for duty the day after the stuff hit the fan in the Caucuses, and he is a combat engineer (which means he goes in and surveys bomb damage, then fixes it), and Bush is itching to get involved in that mess, I am wondering if he got deployed with little notice (when he went to Iraq he had 12 hours to get his shit and report for deployment.) We'd talked about going camping in a few weeks the last time I saw him (his idea), so I seriously doubt he's doing the 'fall off the face of the planet because he doesn't have the cajones to dump me' thing. Its all just very out of character, and knowing that the Army is doing their best to convince him to sign on for longer when his contract is up in December, I have a very strange feeling about it.

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So, back to the positive. I will keep casting my line out in the job sea, and see what, if anything, bites. Wish me luck!