LeighMo's bit of heaven (or hell)

So, today I get it in my head to do something I do once, maybe twice a year.

I did my hair. Seriously.

My hair and I have a love/hate relationship. I hate it, and it loves that I hate it. It is a jungle, a tangled mess of human byproduct that grows roughly 3/4 of an inch a month, getting thicker as it gets longer. I liken it to a brunette (well, washing out black with brunette roots) pothos vine that thrives in the jungle, until it has taken over, suffocating everything in its path.

A few (2) years ago, I gave up on my way cool, geometric, stacked bob. It got long enough to pull into a clip thing, and i forgot it. I also discovered that I inherited my mom's hair...as I get older, it gets curlier. Enlightened with this bit of genetic truth, I armed myself with some 'curl sculpting gel' and could seriously look like I'd done something with it in under two minutes.

Which is how I like it. I'm all about the low maintenance, yo.

Last month I cut about six inches off. Last week I took another four inches off. I normally don't engage in self cosmetology, but its pretty straightforward stuff. Besides, its curly.

Today though, I broke out the blowdryer AND the flat iron. I never do either, because well, its just a lot of work.

Half an hour to dry it. One layer at a time, doing it in three layers. Another half an hour to straighten it. Luckily, there is zero humidity here and very seldom wind, so it may actually look somewhat sleek for a day or so.

Oh, the ways we waste time when no one will retain our services.......

So, I camped this weekend. We found a State Park about half an hour away (there is a state/national park about every 47 feet 'round here), near Olympia. Got the tent and stuff set up by dark on Friday, and came home around noonish on Sunday.

All three of us needed this....separately and as a collective unit. Nate needed time away from technology...when he isn't working, he's driving, or he's working from home or working on his master's degree online. Or, he's getting phone calls from work, about work he did/will need to do.

Morgan's world right now exists of her being with me all day, and I think a lack of 'her and daddy' time was getting to her. She got tons of fresh air, exercise, one on one time with Nate, one on one time with some friends of his (they are great with her), and not much stress for two days.

I got some time to wander off by myself, and just sit around and talk with Nate, which we haven't been doing lately with all the working that goes on. I told him that I thought Morg's attitude problems and reverting to baby voice was brought on by the fact that she doesn't see him during the day and I am caring for her most of the time....even though I lived with them in GR, they still had a normal amount for them of one on one time; now, I'm here with her and then I'm here with her and her dad. I suggested he spend some time with her, just them, while we were out camping and that I would 'sit out' every few outings or so in the future. Today she is being an angel, getting off the computer right away when I said I had work to do, occupying herself rather than hanging on me....more like the little girl I knew before. I know the move has been hard on her, even if she doesn't realize it.

When we were putting up the tent, it didn't go up easy. We raised it twice and tore it down again because we couldn't figure it out. Almost two hours, we twisted rods and wrestled with nylon to get an 8X12 polygon tent to stay put. And in that time, we worked together on it, telling each other what we needed the other to do, then doing it. I messed up quite a few times (hey, I never claimed to be a structural engineer), and he would undo what I did then show or tell me the right way to do it.

He never raised his voice or blamed me for the pain in the ass way it was going. He never swore, or swung at anything. He didn't walk away or give up. In short, he acted unlike any other man I've seen in the face of adversity or annoyance. I told him that later, and he was slightly bewildered that I would have expected it. Sometimes I realize that the phantoms of my history aren't fully gone yet, but I do realize that Nate will never become THAT kind of man. Partly why I love him so.

So, it was a relaxing weekend for all of us, giving us each a chance to reconnect with each other as well as ourselves. Summer is just starting, and we're planning a few more trips between now and September-ish (or whenever the rainy season starts.)

Here are some snappy shots of the weekend camp-a-thon!

For about a week now, I have been feeling just generally icky. One day it was a migraine, and then it was my on and off again stomach discomfort. Nothing major, just whenever I ate ANYTHING, it would be followed by a feeling like my guts were trying to explode outward. Nothing helped....tums, peppermints, eating slower and eating smaller portions.

When I realized my current rotation of jeans was beginning to fall off because I couldn't eat, I did what I do when I don't feel good....I hit google.

I don't have insurance. And if I did, I'd still just use google.

According to Merck, Mayo clinic, and web md, those are the common symptoms of a peptic ulcer, most likely of the gastric variety. Culprit....bacteria, which causes lesions, which is exacerbated by acidic foods, caffeine, and smoking.

That makes sense. I've had this problem off and on for almost a decade....when it flares up, I'd pretty much eat, lay on my tummy until it went away, and carry on. Eventually I would just stop eating for awhile at a hit. I've decided to cut back on coffee (down to two cups a day, rather than a dozen pots and so far no headaches or jitters), drink water like a chick dying of the dehydration, drink milk with meals (skim), and MAYBE go to the free clinic in Tacoma (since I'm almost 7 years since my last 'lady doc' appointment.)

I feel better than I've felt in ages. I slept until 1pm almost all last week; I don't do that normally. Here, I wake by 5 am since the sun is already up. I move from the second I wake up, either mentally or physically; last week I pretty much laid around or dozed, just too tired to do much.

I remember the time when I had bacterial colitis for two weeks without being able to rest; I didn't even pay attention to the fact that I was sick until I began bleeding out. I recall hobbling around with my slightly broken ankle, chasing after three toddlers. I remember driving to appointments with migraines, because things had to be done and nobody [the ex] would get off his butt or out of bed and handle anything so I could rest, and heal thyself. Not all his fault, I let him get away with it. I'm just glad Nate isn't like that (one of the many ways he is nothing like THAT).

So, today with this new found energy, I: cleaned from one end to the other, made home made chicken soup, planted a tomato, pepper, watermelon, petunias, and repotted my mini rose (which Nate got me because I seemed down a few weeks ago). Now I'm taking an afternoon walk with the Morglet, before coming home, eating dinner (with milk!) finishing a site, starting a new site, and potentially breaking in a birthday present.

So, the weather here has been fab. While the childrens and 'rents back home are dealing with cool, wet weather, we here in the "rainy" Northwest have been enjoying nearly 80 degree, sunny, no humidity weather for almost two weeks straight.

My tan is rocking.

I guess this is not typical (the 'warm' very seldom hits 80 and not until well in July. I'm enjoying it, just the same).

I have one site I'm waiting for content so I can whip up, and another lady who I believe is very close to retaining me. It is a relief; I swore after I left the shackles of my marriage that I would never depend on another human for my existence, and the fact that I am here not earning money has been stressing me. Nate does not see it that way of course, being one who also likes to earn his own way, take care of himself, and feels that my being with Morglet while he works is a blessing rather than a burden.

But I'm a strong, libbed woman, so I wants to make my own cashola. And that is going along nicely.

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I was sitting here last night, chilling and watching some Battlestar Galactica with the Nate, when something occurred to me. I don't know from where the thought came, and I hope it doesn't make me wicked or bad; I believe shortly that someone who is a monster, who hurt me and had a horribly negative effect on my life is going to die soon. I know he has been sickly; He is in his mid 60's and spend almost 40 years in the GM shops. I sat there and imagined (envisioned? saw? I can't describe it) his funeral. I will not go; I won't even be notified I'm sure, and that is fine with me. He ceased being family to me almost 24 years ago. I saw the funeral, his children and grandchildren, his wife (my aunt) of over 40 years all mourning him, remembering his strength as a Christian father, deacon of a church, patriarch and breadwinner in the image of the Father.

Its a bunch of bullshit, and while I will not miss missing the funeral, I would love to be there when he meets the maker and his eternal fate is determined.

I have been trying to figure out WHY of all people in my mother's huge family, I would have a random thought like this pop up. I have come to the conclusion that perhaps I am tied to him because of the effect he had on me as a child, what his actions did. I forgave him long ago, and I think I have overcome a lot of the effects. I don't know, I'm trying to make sense of it I guess.

Does that make me evil?

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Here is a pretty shot for today. Since I'm talking about semi-spiritualness, I figured I'd include a shot that seems almost heavenly:





And one because Foxgloves are my favorite wildflower, and I edited them all purdy like:




Enjoy your weekends!