LeighMo's bit of heaven (or hell)

and that peace will end soon. In 41 minutes, to be exact. Baby Daddy time officially expires then, and I shall load my wee ones up and bring them home, so the house trashing can commence.

I'm almost relieved; I've been bored all day with nothing to do.

I spent a goodly portion of Friday evening through Saturday morning sleeping. 17 hours straight, to be exact. I cleaned everything here twice and did laundry. All of it. Even the blankies in the closet for the company we don't have. Last night I sat here, debating on heading to one of the meat markets here in town to try and play pool, then decided I really wasn't in the mood to get hit on. Or be told how to hold a cue stick.

I did not foresee the forces of loneliness hitting me so hard when I moved to Big Rapids. I'm only 10 miles from Reed City, where my BFF's live. But gas is up, work is to be done, and school is back in session. With the absence of my coffee partner and fellow working/schooling/momming/ mom, there aren't many others with whom I hang. Oh, I talk to people daily far and near, via the Internet (yay, Al Gore! Lets write him in!), but it isn't the same. Being a divorced mom of three smallish people in a town full of swinging singles and responsibility phobes doesn't leave much for a fulfilling social life.

Which isn't to say I completely sat here, playing my tiny violin all weekend. I didn't. Took the chi for a walk around the river, helped Dad tidy up a bit and ran some errands with him. But, when that was all set and done and the football game started, I came back to the quiet. I am coming to grips with solitude all over again, it seems; I forgot that for most of 'my weekends' this year I've had some other partner (or partner in crime) to help me blow through the quiet weekends.

I am trying to use this whole 'lonely' experience as a simulated situation....suppose I were in Idaho, or Washington State? Suppose I am in a completely new environment, where I MUST start over? What would I do? I have thought a lot lately about pulling up stakes once I know what the limitations are on me; is this something I can handle, how would I go about it? It seems odd to have that mentality here, since I've been hanging out in this town for a goodly part of 20 years, but I have to look at it as a new experience.

Once I find a job, it won't be so daunting. I have too much time on my hands. I have too much energy that isn't getting burned, both mentally and physically. I'm coming to grips with truths that I really don't want to, but must. Three days straight of rain and quiet have not helped.

Okay, so now I'm down to 30 minutes quiet time. Methinks some microwaved chinese food is in order; they can't stand the smell of it, and I have a teriyaki chicken calling my name!!