LeighMo's bit of heaven (or hell)

I never really understood the whole casual, random dating thing as a lass. Didn't seem to make much sense to me, wasting time trying to separate the wheat from the chafe (I didn't say I was good at it!), letting someone within the walls of the fortress, only to blam! watch the whole thing blow up to start over again. No, I didn't partake in that too much, and of the two other boys that are lucky enough to be called ex, one of them is the happiest gay man I know. The other is in denial. And had a little winkee.

I do, however, now see the point...its just freaking fun! And the speed at which I get over people now is just amazing...I love you, you don't? Well, see you then! Bigger and better people to meet, more fun to be had, so long and thanks for all the fish. True, I still can't wrap my mind around the idea that one can indeed casually date more than one person at a time, but monogamy and I went together like two peas in a pod. Even when I'm not committed to someone, by Crackee, I am practicing for it.

I'm having coffee this weekend with a lovely fellow. Since lately I can see the quality of people I choose to bestow my company upon increasing, I am most happy to report that he is pretty much what Mr.D is (a great human being who is mature, smart, traveled, and ambitious), plus one very important thing: he is a father. Custodial father, at that. Solo custodial father.

The coffee is just coffee, simply the physical meeting of two minds that have already connected, and from there we shall see what transpires. Oh, and he's 30. Old, I know, but I'm willing to look past that. Perhaps that 3 or 4 span in years is the difference between one who can't be encumbered and one who does? We shall see.

Don't get me wrong, I still have feelings for Mr. D, but I am very good now at being able to reclassify feelings and place them under the appropriate column in which they belong. Before he leaves for better job markets and the future he's been carving himself, I must tell him how profoundly he has changed my perspective of life. I do not believe in regrets, and I can see now the purpose he served in mine. Had I not met him, I most likely would have stayed with the ex-boyfriend longer, and potentially found myself in a relationship worse than I had had before (I am fairly confident, looking back, that he was a narcissist). I broke up with him to pursue Mr. D, and the things I learned about myself simply from meeting him are hard to explain.

Besides, I am a firm believer in the old addage that you have as much time for others as you make for them, and in the last month there has been not much effort made on his part, which tells me whatever ship was sailing between us has left the port. It was a grand ship, and will sail forever in my heart and mind.

So, with coffee to be had on Saturday, with a fellow that emailed me right away to see how my interview went, I jump back on the giddy girl bandwagon.