LeighMo's bit of heaven (or hell)

The day began as last year's Christmas Eve began....me, waking in an empty house. I busied myself, wrapping things and making things and running to the store to get last minute things. I had arranged with my mother that she would pick my kids up from their paternal Gparents shindig, and I would meet up with them all at her house, where we would stay the night.

This all hinged upon their father letting me know when he was going to be leaving. He did not; rather, he simply headed home with them, calling me along the way to inform me that it was 'too nasty' for me to venture out, so he'd drop them off at my house. Where we would stay all safe and warm.

I reminded him of the conversation we'd had a mere 16 hours before, and that was not how he recalled it. Whatever. I say I'll meet them at his house, since the gifts are all set out under my tree, the car is packed to leave, my mother really wants us to come, and I really wanted to go.

While I'm waiting, I see his girlfriend and her hag of a mother come outside and get in a car; she asks me if I got a call. I say yes, he said meet me here at 5:45. She asks me when I talked to him; I said around five. She says 'oh, he just called me. They were in an accident up on Northland Drive' and proceeds to turn her back on me, getting into the car.

That was all she said, they were in an accident. In the six minutes it took me to get there, skidding around corners and running red lights, I had some time to think. Which is not good.

I flew off the handle at him as soon as I got there; why wasn't I called? Why did I hear about it in passing? If he has my children with him and they get so much as a papercut, I want to hear about it, firsthand, and before anyone else. I admit, I was pretty much raving like a loon, but I didn't care and I still don't. Two of her kids were in the truck with him, and while I'm not saying she should not have been notified, I really can not for the life of me understand why he thought it would be okay to leave me sitting in his parking lot, in the dark. I yelled at her, for not giving me more details before turning her back on me. I yelled at him, for not calling me and telling me what was going on. I yelled at her mother, when she tried to step in front of me to get to teh car first, and I pretty much told all three of them to just stay out of my way while I collected the kids from the truck.

It was a minor accident, only a bumper and a tail light were injured, but that really is not the point, I don't believe. I have never liked being kept in the dark, and I don't like the implication that I am not worthy enough to even warrent a phone call. I see myself being pushed out of their lives, little by little, and I'm wondering why.

We made it to my mother's without incident, driving about 40 during the blinding wind outs and turning easy on the slushy curves. I bought a bottle of captain and had a rum and coke when I got here. Mom and I wrapped some gifts, and I tucked everyone into bed ( or a reasonable facsimile thereof) twice. My dad is going into his annual slep-through-Christmas-day nap, and I most likely wil not see my brother tomorrow at all.

It is finally Christmas morning; I survived another Christmas Eve. Now I think I'll go decompress, see if I can get rid of the urge to sob once and for all.